Never Say Never When You Live in Neverland

So, in the era we’ll call “Pre-practice” I was your typical suburban gal.  I had worked in Entertainment & Attractions at Paramount’s Kings’ Island for years and I’d seen some things, but I still tossed out that word “never” a whoooole lot.   “That would never happen”, “Never in a million years”, and “Well, I never…”.  Limited possibilities.

Since I’ve landed in Neverland, I can honestly say, that the times I use the word “never” have dwindled significantly.  Why?  Because, you name it, people do it, it has happened, and it’s going to happen again.  Probably tomorrow.  I’m not kidding people.  As a civilian I would have spent half of my days looking like this little fella:

What that means is that, things that previously might not have seemed normal, that a person should maybe not expect to get accustomed to, are starting to seem common place.  Let’s give a “for instance” or three shall we?

1.    Talk shows and celebrities.  It no longer surprises me when clients, or potential clients, mention that a key piece of evidence is either footage of, or tied to a nationally syndicated talk show or celebrity.  Has Dr. Sally Maury Jerry Judy told you that your mother’s crazy sister is your brother’s baby’s father and that they can lose 100 lbs in a week? Yup.  Probably.  In fact, I once witnessed a practitioner who was more surprised that a JO (Judicial Officer) did not want to watch some particularly zaney footage than she was at the fact that the footage existed.  You know what?  Give it to me, I’ll watch it. I’ll add it to the stack with the others right after I get off the phone with this woman who says Jada Pinkett Smith hates her. We did not take that case, but I did hear myself utter the phrase “Well, I hear Jada is very nice, why would she want to do something so mean to you?”  (Insert your own PSA for taking your meds.) These things are real. These lives are real. And I really do think JPS is probably really nice.  She looks nice.

1.     ‘I didn’t let my child go to his Dad’s for parenting time because it was raining/snowing/cloudy with a side of meatballs.’  Now, I’ll address this one more in another post entitled “Things Are More Likely To Get You Sent To Jail” but I bring it up here to give you an idea of the reasons why people do what they do. To most people, whatever their reasons for doing something, in their mind, it made perfect sense.  You cannot effectively convince them that it does not make sense.  Sometimes you have to settle for convincing them that other people could see it differently or at minimum that even if they think the JO is wrong times infinity plus another infinity, that they must do as the JO says. 

2.    I can’t even tell you the really good one.  Let’s just say, “dead guy on my desk” and leave it at that shall we?  Totes Magoats people Totes Magoats.

And, just because I’m a giver, if you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen it, watch this: James Earl Jones is Amazeballs.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RWkizigO50

That’s advertising genius people. 

Happy Friday!

-DEC