‘I feel comfortable using legal language in every day conversation.’

Oh Elle. 

Not to knock Ms. Witherspoon.  I adore her.  However, the words she uttered in her application video have haunted me on a daily basis these last few years.

Personal Opinion: Most people should NOT be comfortable using legal language in every day conversation.  Snobbish?  Perhaps, but also practical.  Why?  Because lots and lots of people don’t bother to look up what a word or phrase actually means before they use it.  That’s why.  Read:  “notwithstanding” “and what have you” “could care less” and one of my personal favorites “that’s hearsay”. 

Trust me, I worry all of the time.  I make up words for whimsy but I worry that people think I don’t know they’re made up.  I worry that the real words I’m using will be used incorrectly on accident.  Am I using affect when I should be using effect? (OHH how that torments my waking hours – autocorrect anyone?)

True confession: I practice law on a daily basis and I still have to re-read the many many exceptions to hearsay all.the.time.   There are about a bagillion, fyi, and it is hard to remember them all.  That’s possibly why it really burns my biscuits when some fella sitting next to me (insert random place and time – all the time) arguing with another individual throws out a “that’s hearsay” as his shoot down of the other’s argument.  Well, no, brother man, it is not hearsay.  It was an observation of your physical state and a statement of that man’s belief.  Not. Hearsay.    “I saw you hit that car” – Not hearsay.   “He goes on expensive vacations but hasn’t paid his child support in three years.”  Also, depending on how the speaker came across this information, probably not hearsay.  Damaging, yes.  Hearsay, no.

What you don’t know CAN hurt you.  Besides the exceptions to hearsay (‘cause evidently I’m on fire there), and how to get your evidence admitted there are other pitfalls to not knowing the full meaning of what is happening.  Recently, I was presiding over a case where a party offered up some text messages as evidence.  Now, I might not have let those in.  However, when I asked Mr. Smartyrepresenthimselfpants if he objected to them being admitted, his response was “Yes, that was a confidential conversation with my kid.”  Nope. Nope it wasn’t.  (Sadly, they do not let us simply scream out “OBJECTION!!!” when we don’t like what is happening.)  We all have bad days.  More than once I’ve sincerely wanted to say “all of them” instead of naming an objection.  The point though is, I know what the objections are supposed to be and the words will come and 90% of the time they’re the right ones.  Stick to the words you know. Even if they are shorter.

Please, please, in the name of all things holy, if you don’t know what a word/phrase means, don’t use it.   If you don’t believe me, take a listen to this guy (min 5:16 especially).  Surely he knows what I’m talking about. Or sadly, maybe he doesn't.